Ministry of Defense Technical Writer Mentor
DynCorp International is privileged to have been requested to assist the Department of State (DOS) and the Government of Liberia to implement a comprehensive set of measures designed to restore the Armed Forces of Liberia and the Liberian Ministry of Defense.
There is more, but I can't show you more. I'd be forced to kill you. I can assure you that this is the good hustle. This would truly be spreading good will. Learn the history of Liberia and the history of Dyntech... you two shall see the good in the hood.
Is it in my best interested to go to Liberia?
That was the question I asked myself. I needed help coming up with an answer.
I had a meeting with some rastafarians and then another meeting with a a bunch gentile yentas with chemical depencency.
They all agree, Liberia is not the place to be.
Don't get me wrong. A lot of good things are happening there.The removal of a Tyrant in power to a freedom fighter in the truest sense of the word and the modernization of poor rural areas, are both good things. There are also crazy people that give 9 year olds AK-47s and slang heroin coming in from Southeast Asian shady places and cocaine from central American shady places to help fund genocide. This is odd because they're all black dudes. Most of them are descendants of free slaves that actually went back to Africa. That's cool, but then they got all "ooooo we have to fit in again but we want to be different... oooooo". That's normally when problems happen. When people fill the need to blend in, get slightly-rejected, and devielop quirky behavior. The worst ones that are the ones are so lost in falsehood that they forget what their country is about. Liberia... Liberty. You can't kill people for their freedom.. you can kill evil people for freedom. You can also kill them over money. Sometimes, you can kill them for both. That's why we have black-ops. That's cool. That JFK movie was cool. I however would not get to be black ops, I would just be a Ministry of Defense Technical Writer Mentor. I think I'd just be telling people that can use "fancy words" with their "fancy correct usage" how to think. I basically do that here. The dyntech job is an impressive offer. $80 grand a year, free housing, free transportation, and optional dismemberment insurance. The first three are cool, the last one makes me question the work enviroment. I'm going there to spread good thoughts and prepare for the evil that will undoubtedly come. People often misunderstand truly good people and the true concept of Freedom. They don't know the power of the buddha palm, it's a hard push in the right direction. They didn't see that "Pay it Forward" movie either. They just want shiny things and power, and they're willing to chop my Flip-light ass to do it.
I heard that I might be able to get a claim for a million dollars if I were to get my head sawed the fuck off. That would help my family a lot. But that would really suck for me. That would suck for everyone. I have a Billion freakin' dollars in my head and everyone knows how charitable I am. It's a shame that I must be slightly mentally fiscally conservative, but some assholes just don't respect the thinking man that uses the Art of War to help formulate his thoughts, and the Art of Lazy to blend in with his enviroment. You know, lazy assholes of America of every color. We mutts keep it mutty like that. That's why I can't sell my brain out like that. I can't trust evil people. They'll probably just try to use it to get them McDonald's and bad American pop records. That's the Satan. That's the freakin' Satan.
I am no Satanist. I'm a man that has discovered a way to reach Nirvana and Heaven, and a way to punch you mother fuckers in the face so hard with it that thunder will roar and a bunch of other shit in Garth Brooks songs will happen. But I'm also hear to give a little push. I'm your Pusher Man like that, Curtis Mayfield taught me that. I can also you push you so hard that you fall over, I learned that picking on white people on the playground. I can also push you so had and so suddenly, that you'll die because of how hard and how suddenly I hit you, I learned that watching kung fu movies. But I do it all with my mind, and I do it for the right cause. Because you people are dumber than me, and you keep dragging people into your own bullshit.
I'm respectful of others and I won't drag my bullshit into their homes. That's why I won't go to Liberia. I'll probably just get some of that Liberian cannibis and prentend that I'm one Hassan's Assassins and pick a fight... with my imagination! Then I'll say it because I got a big mouth, and I'll end up with my imagination spilled all over a floor while modern day slave traders hold up my head and laugh.
I'd imagine it would be really hard for me to tip toe through Liberia. I can't even manage to make it around the body shop I worked in for most of my life without giving myself a concussion or a knee injury. I really like my body parts. Even the smaller ones.
So, Fuck that, and fuck them. I do support the good cause though.... WITH MY IMAGINATION!
Decision: FUCK NO.